WHEN YOU CLOSE THE DOOR, IT MIGHT BE NIGHT FOREVER.(The Velvet Underground)

I closed the door by expunging all the little keyholes that were still open,  I asked that he forgive me. My temptations were no worse than the ones he had suffered from and had acted upon, no worse than his own declarations   It was His own temptation that led me on this journey and I am never sure he realized the extent of his trespass into my life.  He died for me yesterday, but the mourning continues.  I obviously died for him some time ago and he moved on and away, no wish to look back. Now even my good memories are sullied by my own hand. it was the extent to which I was able to move into the dark and morbid world I allowed myself to explore.  I haven't learned the lesson of being here, just being.  I am history-onlynow--a memory. But the worst part is that even those memories are tarnished irrevocable and I was the one who tarnished them.  It should have been him.  I was the righteous one.  I once had honor on my side, but no longer. I consciously stepped over the line, and then without watching my own back, I allowed to happen what did happen  This is a stinging lesson. His forgiveness would give me back some dignity, some acknowledgement that he had the capacity to understand my pain, and hope only that I find a different path.  I asked for it, And he eventually accepted my apology with an emoji of a happy face.   preview of a short story.

 Marshall Arisman_Light Runners Series

Marshall Arisman_Light Runners Series